Well, I am, but so is this guy.

Q. How shalt we act oh Lord, to garner your good graces?

A. Stop talking like a fuckwit, for starters, asswipe.

It's a question I've been asked throughout the ages and one I've been unable to answer, until now, because I've lacked a medium through which to discuss it with you. The advent of "The Interweb" has solved this problem and I now find myself ready to dispense all I know about "Life" and "How To Live It (Life)".

This will be part 1 in a 45213 part series and is entitled, simply:



Ah, that's pretty much it, just don't talk like a fuckwit & you'll be well on your way to living the kind of life I intended for you.

Fo shizzle.

Love Always,
God.

Born Dancing recently left this little prayer:

Hi God,
Hope I'm not out of line and you're not too busy, but I have a quick question. I've been interested in getting involved in some kind of cult for some time, but haven't found the right fit. None of the major religions really put much motion in my ocean, if you know what I'm saying, and I'm thinking a cult or sect-type dealy might work out. Do you have any recommendations or warnings, or perhaps a list of preferred franchises? I'd ideally be looking for something low on the robe content, with some kind of reincarnation and perhaps ritualised and impersonal sexual activities a plus.

Thanks in advance,
Born

Hi Born,
Thanks for your prayer, I'm never too busy to answer an inquisitive mind like yours!

I try at all times to be impartial in my dealings with the myriad of religions currently out there, but truth be told, God does have some favourites.

Mormonism: aside from spawning one of God's favourite bloggers, Mormons have much to offer those looking at taking up a new means of worship. The feature that God believes will most benefit you, Born, is the Mormons' affinity for polygamy. I suggest you wander by Polygamy.com & see if anything there "tickles your fancy".


CADS: Christians and Domination/Submission. Who says Christians can't practice BDSM within the sanctity of their marriage? Not God! In fact he recommends it.

Self Deification: As a last resort, if you can't find a religion that suits your everchanging needs, just deify yourself! The upside is that you get to control every aspect of your very own religion. The downside is the workload. You wouldn't believe how much time it takes to answer all the inane questions that come across my desk (lol! Just ribbing you BD!).

I hope this answers your questions sufficiently, if you have any more don't hesitate to let me know.

I think BD has proven that no question is too silly for God to answer (haha! Again!)

Love Always,
God.

p.s. love your blog Born Dancing!